Uncomfortable Relationship Truths

Tips from Dr. Liz

Your “intentions” are irrelevant if your actions keep hurting your partner.

You do NOT have to “love yourself” before someone else can love you (yes, self-love is important, but we also heal in connection with others.)

You can love someone deeply AND realize they are not a good fit for you.

Using the excuse, “it’s just the way I am” or “I only acted that way because you _____” to justify shitty behaviors… is a shitty behavior.

It does not make you a “bad person” to want to be physically and sexually attracted to your partner.

People who stay in toxic relationships are not “choosing” to stay because they are dumb or weak (there are so many valid reasons they feel stuck).

Yes, dysfunctional relational behavior is often the result of trauma… AND trauma does not give anyone a free pass to cause harm to other people.

Sexual compatibility does matter… it is okay to have different preferences, but this only works if both partners are willing to compromise.

The quality of a relationship is the direct reflection of efforts put into it.

You can’t make anyone love you or treat you right; that’s their choice.

We can get into all the other things that no one likes to talk about, like that you actually have to put efforts into your relationship, and that healing from your upbringing is your responsibility, and that as much as we want a particular relationship to work… sometimes they just don’t.

I could go on and on about all the relationship struggles that I talk with my clients about day in and day out… all the relationship realities that I sit and process with my friends… and all the ugly relational truths that I personally face on the regular…

But the whole point is… You are NOT alone in your relationship struggles.

Everyone struggles with something. The only difference is who is willing to talk about it and who feels they still need to hide it (I understand this crowd too… I definitely get the desire to hide!).

However, what if we practiced normalizing these things AND providing support for each other instead? What a difference that would make for all of us.

Book Recommendation

How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving

by David Richo

Brimming with practical exercises for couples and singles, How to Be an Adult in Relationships offers heartening insights into a lifelong journey of love.

Relatable | Relationships Unfiltered Episode 26

Dr. Liz hangs out with Elizabeth Overstreet, a relationship strategist and coach, to chat all about effective ways to manage our expectations in relationships. Dr. Liz and Elizabeth discuss the difference between realistic and unrealistic expectations, as well as the importance of identifying your wants, needs, and boundaries for your relationships. They also chat through effective ways to express your wants and needs to your partner… and Elizabeth gives Dr. Liz some good feedback on managing her high expectations of others. You don’t want to miss this very relatable episode all about relational expectations.