Tips for Starting Hard Conversations

Author

Elizabeth Fedrick
August 14, 2024

Hard conversations can be… well, hard!

It’s never easy to bring up uncomfortable conversations… but just because we don’t like to, doesn’t mean we don’t need to.

I’ve provided lots of tips in the past about effective ways and necessary communication skills to have hard conversations.

However, there is another side to this.

First, there are actually many times when we bring up hard conversations… when it maybe wasn’t necessary to bring up at all or maybe not at that particular time.

Secondly, there are also times when we bring up hard conversations without a goal or objective in mind… or do it in a way that ultimately causes more harm than good.

Before starting a hard conversation… ask yourself:

  • What am I hoping to achieve by bringing this topic up?

  • Have I given my partner a heads-up about wanting to talk?

  • Am I calm enough to stay safe & logical during this conversation?

  • Does it seem my partner is already escalated or can be calm/safe?

  • Am I willing to be open-minded to my partner’s perspective?

  • Am I looking for real resolution or just to vent about my feelings?

  • Is there a chance I’m picking a fight or being antagonistic?

  • Is this a good time & environment to bring up something difficult?

  • Am I trying to control something that’s not mine to control?

  • Are there ground rules in place about how to handle escalations?

Hard conversations are a necessary and inevitable part of life and relationships.

But, before just jumping in… take a few minutes to ensure that you have an actual objective in mind, are in a good state of mind to talk about hard things, and that there is actual value in bringing up this topic.

Expert Spotlight

Morgan Liptak, LMFT, earned her master’s degree in marriage and family therapy from Arizona State University and is a licensed therapist at Evolve Counseling. She is passionate about helping millennials and young adults who are navigating life transitions, identity shifts, relational challenges, anxiety, and unprocessed trauma. She understands that many individuals are facing a unique set of challenges these days and are often unable to prioritize their mental health as a result. Morgan empowers her clients to show up as their most authentic selves in order to overcome obstacles, explore their personal identities, and ultimately find healing. 


Fun Facts

1. I’ve never broken a bone

2. My favorite move is The Grinch and I watch it (and quote it) year round

3. If I were an ice cream flavor, I would be Rocky Road - chaotic but a fan favorite

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