Talk is cheap...

If you actually want things to change… 

You’ve gotta be willing to change things. 

(I know… deep, right?!)

and confusion about how much time I was spending on healing and growing, yet feeling like I was constantly fighting the same battles…  I became very aware that if I want things to change… Then I needed to change.

While there were many, many changes made (and continuing to be made)… These three are currently on my heart to share: 

1. Nothing is happening to you—things are happening for you.

   It’s all about perspective. I completely get this might feel hard to hear when you’re going through something heavy, because I’ve definitely been there too! But, in my own journey of navigating pain and deeply craving change, I had to make a choice: Would I keep viewing my circumstances through the lens of powerlessness, or would I choose empowerment?

   When I decided to start looking for the lessons in the pain, everything shifted. That choice—to reframe struggles as opportunities for growth—was an absolute GAME CHANGER. Gentle reminder… your perspective holds incredible power.

2. Choosing to be grateful—shifted everything.  

   Expressing gratitude daily (yes, many times a day) has been the most transformative practice for shifting my mindset about my circumstances and life as a whole. It all started with just a few minutes of gratitude journaling each day, and from there, it expanded into something so much bigger.

   I get it—gratitude is one of those concepts people talk about constantly, and honestly, I used to roll my eyes when it was suggested to me. But then I actually gave it a try, and it didn’t take long to see why everyone won’t stop talking about it. It’s that powerful.

   If you take nothing else from this newsletter… I hope it’s this: Start practicing gratitude daily. Even if it feels small at first, it will change everything.

3. To show up better—I had to prioritize myself.

   For those of us who grew up in environments where we were the caretakers, we often end up in adulthood in that same exact role (good ol’ Relationship Programming at work here, folks). We become the ones who always put others first, often showing up for ourselves last, or even worse, not at all. Making the decision to prioritize myself was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done (#iykyk).

   But as I continue to work on my (Re)Programming, that includes allowing myself to matter. It’s a journey, but I’m learning that my needs and well-being deserve attention too. 

The moral of the story here, is that if you aren’t satisfied with your current life outcomes… it is your responsibility to do something to change that.

Start with your thoughts… Think about what you think about.

Shift your focus to the good things around you, what you are grateful for, and the things you actually want out of life.

Identify one action step towards the things you want… AND THEN DO IT!

And if you are ready for things to actually change this time… Start your own (Re)Programming journey today!

As most of you know by now, Relationship Programming is the term I use to describe how our upbringings impact our relationships in adulthood.

The ways that our caregivers consistently interacted with us (whether nurturing, present, and attentive OR chaotic, neglectful, and abusive… and everything in between) sets the stage for what we come to believe is “normal” in our adult relationships.

The tricky part of this is that when we were raised by emotionally immature caregivers (caregivers who were not safe, attentive, nurturing, present, etc.), we are then programmed to believe that people are not safe or trustworthy… and that everyone will likely hurt and/or leave us at some point. 

Furthermore, being raised by emotionally immature caregivers, also creates the belief that chaos and frequent conflict are just to be expected… and most of us were not taught or shown safe and effective communication skills, conflict resolution, or how to express our needs and boundaries… 

We are then thrust into adult relationships, and find partners, who were also likely raised by emotionally immature caregivers (we tend to be attracted to people who are familiar to our programming)… and now we are trying to navigate relationships based in a deep fear of rejection and abandonment… with little to no knowledge on how to manage this.

All we know is that this does NOT feel good… yet, we don’t know what to do about it… Thus, the cycle continues. 

If you resonate with this experience… it’s probably time to start your Relationship (Re)Programming journey! 

The Relationship (Re)Programming Course is here to guide you towards the changes you’ve been deeply longing for in your relationships. This program offers clear direction, practical tools and skills, and the guidance you need to break free from those exhausting cycles… and work towards creating safe, healthy, and fulfilling connections.

Ready to transform your relationships? Let’s get started!