The Pains of a Breakup...

Tips from Dr. Liz

One of the most powerless and hopeless feelings we experience as humans is that if a broken heart…

It is really common to feel as though the hurt will never go away… and also feel helpless to know what to do with it.

Things that make it hard to move on after a breakup might include:

  • Hearing a song that reminds you of them or that you used to sing together.

  • Catching yourself in daydreams about “what could have been.”

  • Days that feel a little extra lonely and make you crave hearing their voice.

  • Having something exciting happen & wanting so badly to share it with them.

  • Having something sad or difficult happen & wanting more than anything to hear them tell you, “everything will be okay.”

  • Ruminating about why it didn’t work out & what you wish you could change.

  • Catching a random scent that smells like them & floods you with memories.

  • Continuing to crave them sexually and missing the intimate moments.

  • Being reminded of inside jokes and things only they would “get.”

  • Mourning the loss of not only the present, but hopes for the future.

  • Wondering why you weren’t “good enough” for them to try harder to make it work.

BUT… here are some things to keep in mind…

Remember that ‘grieving’ looks different for everyone; it might be alone time, journaling, staying busy, crying, reflecting, etc.

Tap into your support systems as much as possible (this is an important time to get nurtured and loved on by your humans).

There is no timeline on grief; you can take as long as you need or don’t need to move through the pain & loss.

Get back to your normal routine as soon as possible & engage in activities that are good for you and that bring you joy.

There is value in distracting yourself when needed; you don’t have to focus on this loss 24/7 to heal from it.

Take time to engage in honest self-reflection about what you learned from this relationship & what you might want to work on.

Remind yourself that there will be a “next one” (even though it doesn’t feel like it when you’re hurting).

Be aware of external influences and other people’s opinions (you don’t have to take anyone’s advice!).

Bottom line… acknowledge the pain, seek comfort and support, and then shift your energy and time towards things that bring you peace and joy. Your pain is valid and real… allow yourself the time and space to work through it.

Dr. Liz’s Book

Relatable | Relationships Unfiltered Episode 17

Dr. Liz chats with Stephanie Sarazin, author of Soulbroken, about the complicated experience of ambiguous grief. Dr. Liz and Stephanie get vulnerable about what it is like to grieve the loss of someone who is still alive, but no longer has an active role in your life. They discuss the unique kind of heartbreak and confusion that accompanies ambiguous grief and provide takeaways for processing through this type of grief and loss. You won’t want to miss this episode about the very relatable heartache and struggles that accompany the ambiguous grieving process.