Your Needs Matter!

Elizabeth Fedrick
August 07, 2024

It becomes easy to believe that the reason they weren’t available for you is because your needs weren’t that important.

However, that could not be farther from the truth…

Your needs, wants, and boundaries were (AND ARE!) so important… And unfortunately, your Relationship Programming has taught you how to live with getting these needs and wants met… and furthermore, has likely taught you to stop even trying to get them met.

It’s okay to want a partner who…

Doesn’t leave you wondering if or when they will call or text back.
Will ask about your day and wants to share about theirs.
Values alone time & personal space; doesn’t expect 24/7 attention.
Completes tasks for you without you having to ask (and is also happy and willing to help when you do ask).
Is emotionally intelligent and is able to appropriately express their needs, wants, boundaries, opinions, and emotions.
Provides reassurance when you are struggling without saying or implying that you are “too sensitive” or “needy.”
Follows through on their commitments to you (both big & small).
Acknowledges & appreciates your efforts towards showing up for them (even if it isn’t perfect and you don’t always get it right).
Understands that your desire for space isn’t an attack on them.
Provides patience, gentleness, and validation on your hard days.
Enjoys intimacy (physical & emotional) & can’t get enough of you

While there is most certainly not anyone out there who is going to be able to meet every single one of your needs and wants in a relationship… That doesn’t mean there aren’t plenty of people who would be able to get pretty dang close… and who would also be willing to put in efforts to learn how to show up better.

Keep in mind, that needs are not only about wanting attention, time, and intimacy… but for a lot of people, is also about wanting personal space, alone time, and autonomy… and that is okay too!

All needs are valid and acceptable. The ideal partner is not one who has all the same needs and just automatically knows how to meet yours…

But rather, the ideal partner is one who makes sure you know you are worth the effort, even if meeting your needs doesn’t come naturally to them.

Relationship (Re)Programming

You so deeply desire healthy and fulfilling relationships, and yet feel like you have no clue how to get there. Dr. Liz knows what it's like to experience these challenges firsthand and she is here to challenge that narrative and provide you with reassurance, encouragement, and practical tools needed to break free from toxic cycles, embrace your truth, and to cultivate healthy, fulfilling relationships.

Relatable | Relationships Unfiltered Episode 56

Dr. Liz hangs out with Dr. Nicole LePera, licensed psychologist, to chat all about Dr. Nicole’s new book: How to Be the Love You Seek. Dr. Liz and Dr. Nicole dig into Relationship (Re)Programming and discuss how our childhoods influence our relational patterns and behaviors in our romantic relationships. They both get vulnerable about the impact of their own childhoods and discuss the steps they have taken to heal, as well as the ways they have supported others in doing the same. Dr. Liz and Dr. Nicole provide a relatable perspective on healing and personal growth and provide tangible take-aways for anyone wanting to start (or continue) their healing journey.