Learn to Accept the "Good"

Elizabeth Fedrick
July 31, 2024

Tips from Dr. Liz

As trauma survivors, we don’t need to heal to learn how to tolerate ‘bad’ (we are already experts in this)… but we do need to heal to learn how to accept the ’good’ and to learn that we are worthy of receiving good things.

We don’t talk nearly enough about the anxiety that comes along with trying to accept the “thing” we have been working so hard for (i.e., the healthy relationship, the financial success, the dream job, etc.)… when that “thing” is finally right in front of us.

For individuals who have lived much of their life in survival mode… the thought of things “going well” and receiving the good things available to us is so scary… because what if it all gets taken away?

So, how do we respond to this fear?! We self-sabotage. We limit ourselves. We unintentionally push away the good. We create stories and reasons as to why we can’t receive what is right in front of us… we continue to choose our “norm.”

When a brain has been programmed in an environment of chaos, emotional neglect, and fear… this is all it knows, and thus it will continue to seek out what is familiar (and reject what is foreign)… until we choose differently.

But the beautiful take-away here is that this choice is yours… even if this was your original programming… it can be changed.

Ready to Start Your Relationship (Re)Programming journey?

Dr. Liz offers virtual coaching!

Increase awareness regarding patterns in your relationships.
Become aware of barriers holding you back from a fulfilling relationship.
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Learn how to break the “toxic cycle” & change dysfunctional relational behaviors.
Address intimacy issues & work towards increasing quality and quantity of intimacy.
Learn how to set and hold healthy boundaries more effectively.

Relatable | Relationships Unfiltered Episode 51

Dr. Liz hangs out with Amy Fiedler, Certified Trauma Support Specialist, to chat all about self-sabotaging behaviors. Dr. Liz and Amy explore common ways that many people tend to self-sabotage in a relationship, as well as various reasons these behaviors were developed. They both get vulnerable about their healing journeys and openly share about ways that they have self-sabotaged in their own relationships. Dr. Liz and Amy also discuss how self-sabotage impacts our ability to have healthy relationships and they provide valuable take-aways for addressing this.