Keeping the Spark Alive

Author

Elizabeth Fedrick
April 24, 2024

Tips from Dr. Liz

Keeping the Spark Alive

Fair warning… that spark will NOT keep itself lit.

There is a reason beginning of a relationship is called the “honeymoon stage”… because it most certainly does not stay all lovey dovey and ewwy gooey forever…

UNLESS, we are intentional!

Keeping that spark alive requires:

  • Going on regular and consistent date nights (taking turns planning them & surprising each other with new activities).

  • Trying new things in bed (positions, toys, sensory experiences).

  • Being intentional about checking on each other daily.

  • Having joint hobbies and social lives… AND having your own too!

  • Engaging in intellectual stimulation & deep conversations.

  • Being active together… and taking care of yourself physically & emotionally (your partner deserves the best version of you!)

  • Engaging in lots of emotional foreplay (this means you have to talk to each other!! And… flirt, tease, play, & laugh).

  • Going on new adventures & getting out of your comfort zones.

  • Finding balance between creating connection & taking space.

Keep in mind that one of the things that makes a relationship so exciting and fun in the beginning is the novelty… the newness… and the intrigue of getting to know each other.

While there is also so much comfort and ease to be found as time goes on and the relationship progresses (which is definitely a beautiful thing)…

This comfort doesn’t necessarily help to keep the spark alive… but rather can actually have the opposite effect if we aren’t careful.

It is crucial that we are finding ways to continue to create newness, novelty, and excitement… as this is truly what the human brain thrives off of when it comes to chemistry, attraction, and intrigue.

Soooo… How do we strike this balance of comfort and chemistry?!

We become intentional with date nights, trying new things in bed, creating lots of opportunities for adventure… AND ensuring that each person maintains their own life (hobbies, social events, passions & purpose, etc.).

It is more than possible to keep that spark alive… But it will require efforts and intentionality from BOTH of you!

Recommended Resource

Take this free relationship assessment by Encompass Connection Center to get a feel for your relationship’s strength and explore different areas of your relationship:

Relatable | Relationships Unfiltered Episode 49

Dr. Liz hangs out with Quentin Decamp, Relationship Coach & Therapist, to chat all about the honeymoon phase of relationships. Dr. Liz and Quentin discuss the common pitfalls of this stage of a relationship, such as not showing up as our authentic selves, as well as the tendency to look past certain red flags. They also discuss what happens as the relationship moves into the power struggle phase and how to navigate this transition more effectively. You don’t want to miss this very relatable episode all about effectively navigating the start of a new relationship.