If you catch yourself saying, “But when it’s good, it’s so good”… Please let this be your first clue that things are not good…

Recognizing the Signs of a Toxic Relationship:

Relationships should bring peace, stability, and growth to our lives—but for many, they instead become a rollercoaster of emotional highs and lows. If you’ve ever found yourself justifying a relationship with the phrase, “When it’s good, it’s so good,” it might be time to pause and reflect. What you’re likely describing isn’t a healthy relationship— but rather… a toxic one.

The Trap of the "Good Moments"

Toxic relationships are rarely bad all the time. In fact, the good moments can feel so intoxicatingly euphoric that they overshadow the chaos, conflict, or pain that follows. These "highs" create a false sense of hope, tricking you into staying in a dynamic that, deep down, you know isn’t working. The cycle of ups and downs becomes addictive, keeping you tethered to the idea that things will improve or that the "good" outweighs the bad.

However, true love and connection don’t require such a steep emotional price. Healthy relationships have consistency—a steady undercurrent of respect, communication, and safety that doesn’t depend on rare “good times” to justify their worth.

Why the "Good" Can Be Misleading

1. Intermittent Reinforcement: Just like a slot machine keeps you pulling the lever with sporadic wins, toxic relationships keep you invested by offering occasional affection, kindness, or fun. These moments of “good” feel like proof that things can change, but they often serve as temporary distractions from deeper issues.

2. Emotional Whiplash: The dramatic shifts between conflict and harmony can feel like passion, making the “good” seem even better in contrast to the “bad.” This emotional instability, however, is exhausting and unhealthy.

3. Fantasy vs. Reality: Often, the “good” moments align with what you wish the relationship could always be. But a relationship built on fleeting highs doesn’t fulfill the emotional safety, trust, and partnership that a healthy connection requires.

Signs You’re Stuck in the "Good vs. Bad" Cycle

• You feel like you’re walking on eggshells, unsure when the next conflict will arise.

• The “good” times feel like a reward for enduring mistreatment or neglect.

• You spend more time justifying the relationship than genuinely enjoying it.

• You feel drained, anxious, or unsure of yourself after interactions with your partner.

What Healthy Relationships Look Like

In a healthy relationship:

• The good moments are consistent, not fleeting or conditional.

• Conflict is addressed respectfully, without fear of retaliation or manipulation.

• You feel safe, valued, and free to express yourself without fear of judgment.

• The relationship contributes to your overall well-being instead of depleting it.

Breaking Free

Recognizing that “when it’s good, it’s so good” might actually be your first clue that it is not good… is a powerful first step towards breaking free from this cycle. It’s an acknowledgment that the relationship’s foundation may not be as solid as it seems. If you’re ready to break free from this cycle, consider these steps:

1. Seek Support: Talk to trusted friends, family members, or a therapist who can provide perspective and guidance.

2. Reflect Honestly: Ask yourself whether the “good” truly outweighs the “bad,” or if it’s simply masking the harm.

3. Consider Your Options: Whether that means counseling, identifying what you can work on improving, or leaving the relationship… take steps that align with your values and future goals.

4. Start your (Re)Programming Journey: Learn how your "Relationship Programming" shapes your choices, behaviors, and relational reactions. Work to discover the underlying causes of your relational pain, fear, disconnection, & recurring conflict… And how to effectively (Re)Program for healthier relationships.

Final Thoughts

Healthy relationships shouldn’t require a justification—they simply feel right because they are built on mutual respect, trust, and genuine care. If you’re clinging to the hope that the “good” moments will one day define the relationship, it might be time to let go and prioritize your own peace.

The best relationships aren’t just “good when they’re good”—they’re supportive, fulfilling, and uplifting, even in the lows and the everyday moments.

You deserve nothing less.

Are you tired of getting caught in the same overwhelming cycles—endless conflict, disconnection, hurt, loneliness, and feeling unfulfilled in your relationships?

If so... You’re not alone.

Introducing Relationship (Re)Programming —a transformative course designed to help you break free from the painful patterns that are keeping you stuck in unfulfilling dynamics.

💡 What you’ll uncover:

• Discover the underlying causes of your relational pain, fear, disconnection, & recurring conflict

• Understand why the same patterns and obstacles keep appearing in your relationships

• Learn how your "Relationship Programming" shapes your choices, behaviors, and relational reactions—and how to effectively (Re)Program for healthier relationships

• Uncover the real reasons behind your relationship challenges... and why previous attempts at addressing these issues probably haven’t work for you

🔑 What you’ll gain:

• Tools & skills to break cycles of dysfunction and create healthier, more fulfilling connections

• The empowerment to understand your role in relational dynamics—and the power and knowledge to improve it

• A deep awareness of your patterns, so you can make intentional choices for better connections

• Strategies to move out of pain and fear... and into safety, connection, and satisfying intimacy

FOR 24 HOURS ONLY… USE CODE: BREAKTHECYCLE50

TO RECEIVE 50% OFF THE RELATIONSHIP (RE)PROGRAMMING COURSE!

(offer expires on 12/7/24 at 11:59pm EST)