Dr. Elizabeth Fedrick's Weekly Newsletter

Author

Elizabeth Fedrick
February 07, 2024

Tips from Dr. Liz

How Many Chances Are Too Many? 

Anyone else have an annoying habit of giving people the benefit of the doubt, over and over, until it eventually comes back to bite you… or is that just me?

One of the hardest things in life is to have strong feelings for someone… even though we know they aren’t good for our mental health and well-being.

We try so hard to just look past these red flags, compatibility issues, and ongoing areas of conflict… we make excuses, justifications, and allowances for these things…

Because our heart wants us to hold on tight… Even though our brain is trying to tell us to RUNNN!!!!!   

There are multiple reasons for this… but it is usually the result of our Relationship Programming, which has taught many of us things that are not true, such as:

  • Love and chaos are intertwined.

  • We have to earn love and acceptance.

  • Most relationships are painful and unsafe.

  • We aren’t that important, so we should just take what we can get.

  • Instability and inconsistency = chemistry and passion

Howeverrrrrr… As most of us know by now, as familiar as these experiences are… these types of relationship always end up causing us more harm than good.

And then, we are left picking up pieces of our broken hearts… because we definitely should have listened to what they were SHOWING us about their inability to be safe, consistent, or show up in the ways that we need.

It is a HARD skill to learn to remove yourself from a relationship that is not serving you… I am right there with the rest of you still working on this…

But I’m pretty sure we can all agree that trying to hold on to these types of relationships is not getting us any closer to the healing and growth that we all so deeply desire.

Expert Spotlight

Cam Fraser

Certified Professional Sex Coach and Certified Sexologist. Being a former Tantric Yoga Teacher, his work integrates scientifically validated, medically accurate information about sexual health, with sacred sexuality teachings from the mystery traditions. As a coach, he helps men go beyond surface-level sex and into full-bodied, self-expressed, pleasure-oriented sexual experiences free of anxiety or shame.

Fun Facts:

  1. When I was 21, I ordained as a Theravāda Buddhist monk at a monastery called Wat Sriboonruang in Fang, Thailand.

  2. I played soccer on a scholarship at two colleges in the United States, one in Georgia and the other in Iowa.

  3. My father's side of the family emigrated from Scotland to Peru, so half of my family are Peruvian.

Relatable | Relationships Unfiltered Episode 53

Dr. Liz hangs out with Cam Fraser, Australia’s Leading Men’s Sex Coach, to chat all about performance anxiety in the bedroom. Dr. Liz and Cam explore the multitude of reasons that individuals experience performance anxiety when it comes to sex, as well as how this impedes upon the enjoyment of intimacy. They also discuss ways to work through this type of anxiety in order to shift the focus to pleasure over performance. You won’t want to miss this very relatable episode all about the very common sexual insecurities that so many of us face… And practical tools to help overcome this!