Barriers of Emotional Immaturity

Tips from Dr. Liz

Emotional immaturity in a relationship often includes:

• An inability or unwillingness to stay safe, calm, and regulated when feeling angry, hurt, or afraid.

• Dishonesty and/or withholding the truth for personal gain.

• Treating all disagreements as the end of the relationship, thus becoming combative, defensive, and/or running away.

• Selfishness, criticism, control, manipulation, & stonewalling.

• A refusal to apologize or seek repair after being hurtful due to convincing themselves (and others) that it was justified.

• Calling the other person toxic, crazy, or a narcissist instead of owning & addressing their own role in the dysfunctional cycle.

• Having rigid or passive boundaries versus appropriate and healthy boundaries.

• Expecting wants and needs to be met without communicating them.

• Passive-aggressiveness or snarky comments when upset instead of being open & honest.

• Self-righteousness and talking about all of their insights and “growth”… yet continuing to engage in the same behaviors.

Emotionally immature individuals are often very aware and even vocal about what everyone else around them can do to improve and to show up better… yet they struggle to see the true impact of their own behaviors.

Emotionally immature individuals portray themselves as being very insightful & self-aware about their own personal growth… but often lack the skills and self-discipline required to follow through on making real changes.

Emotional immaturity is fueled by insecurity, pride, and a fragile sense of self, which makes it nearly impossible to be honest with themselves about their own role in the ongoing chaos that they just can’t seem to escape or change.

Improving emotional immaturity is more than possible… however, if you just read through this and were thinking about someone else’s emotionally immature behaviors the whole time… the point of this article might have gotten lost…

So, here is a gentle nudge to head back to the top and try reading it again.

Book Recommendation

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents

by Lindsay Gibson, PsyD

In this breakthrough book, clinical psychologist Lindsay Gibson exposes the destructive nature of parents who are emotionally immature or unavailable. You will see how these parents create a sense of neglect, and discover ways to heal from the pain and confusion caused by your childhood. By freeing yourself from your parents’ emotional immaturity, you can recover your true nature, control how you react to them, and avoid disappointment. Finally, you’ll learn how to create positive, new relationships so you can build a better life.

Relatable | Relationships Unfiltered Episode 64

Ready to unlock the blueprint for thriving relationships? Dive into this episode where Dr. Liz is joined by Dr. Lori Husband, Clinical Psychologist, who helps us to unravel the key to lasting love. Together, Dr. Liz and Dr. Lori explore the essential role of mutual effort in nurturing healthy relationships. They challenge the notion that successful relationships are merely a stroke of luck, and emphasize the deliberate choices required for lasting connection. From recognizing patterns of attraction rooted in past experiences to recognizing your attachment style, Dr. Liz and Dr. Lori offer practical advice for personal and relational growth. Whether single or in a relationship, discover how conscious intentionality paves the way for deeper intimacy and long-term happiness.