5 Ways to Change Your Relationship

Author

Elizabeth Fedrick
August 28, 2024

If you are continuing to struggle with ongoing conflict, disconnection, resentments, lack of intimacy… and so on.

You’ve gotta start with the root of the issue.

With almost every client I’ve worked with for relationship difficulties… the core issue always comes back to a lack of safety and/or general trust.

Which most often happens when we aren’t feeling seen, heard, understood, or valued.

If you were to think about the most recent disagreement you had with your partner… were really honest about the situation… and dissected it down to its core… I guarantee this is what you’d find.

So, what do we do about it?!

Start with the basics of creating safety by addressing our trauma, learning to regulate our big emotions, and ensure we are consistently checking on and providing support for our partner.

Start here:

  1. Get clear on your past trauma… and find help to start healing (awareness of your trauma triggers and learning how to appropriately manage them is a game changer!).

  2. Learn and practice emotional regulation skills to use during conflict and when feeling triggered, hurt, angry, afraid, etc., so that you can show up safer in these situations.

  3. Improve your communication skills… learn to validate their feelings & experiences (EVEN if your perspective differs)… ask questions to better understand their perspective.

  4. Initiate consistent and daily (brief) & weekly (longer) check-ins!

  5. Provide specific and genuine praise, compliments, and gratitude multiple times per day… EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Start implementing these five action steps immediately… and watch your relationship change.

Ready to Start Your Relationship (Re)Programming journey?

Dr. Liz offers virtual coaching!

  • Increase awareness regarding patterns in your relationships.

  • Become aware of barriers holding you back from a fulfilling relationship.

  • Improve communication skills, conflict resolution skills, and relational safety & connection. 

  • Learn how to break the “toxic cycle” & change dysfunctional relational behaviors.

  • Address intimacy issues & work towards increasing quality and quantity of intimacy.

  • Learn how to set and hold healthy boundaries more effectively.

Relatable | Relationships Unfiltered Episode 62

Dr. Liz hangs out with Rodney Rabbani, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, to chat all about the things that are needed to sustain a long-term connection. Dr. Liz and Rodney chat about what to look out for when first starting to date someone new, such as traits of emotional maturity and emotional availability. They also discuss the things that partners who are already in a long-term relationship should continue to work on, such as increasing both physical and emotional intimacy. Dr. Liz and Rodney explore helpful tips to work towards both obtaining and sustaining a long-term connection.

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